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Finally free from guilt over Challenger disaster, an engineer dies in peace
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This is what Bob Ebeling planned to demand of God, when he saw him: ¡§Why me? You picked a loser.¡¨
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For three decades Ebeling, a former rocket engineer for NASA contractor Morton Thiokol, had been swamped by his own grief and guilt over the catastrophe he¡¦d failed to stop. In the days before the space shuttle Challenger burned up in mid-air, killing all seven astronauts on board, Ebeling and four other engineers had pleaded with NASA to delay the launch. They had concerns about whether the rubber o-rings on the shuttle¡¦s booster rockets would seal properly in the frigid winter weather. Ebeling even authored an alarmed memo detailing the problems with the rings. Its subject line read, bluntly, ¡§Help!¡¨
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But the engineers were overruled. On January 28, 1986, he and his colleagues watched in helpless horror as the shuttle and its crew turned to ashes in the sky.
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¡§I think that was one of the mistakes that God made,¡¨ Ebeling told NPR this year. ¡§He shouldn¡¦t have picked me for that job. I don¡¦t know.¡¨
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But hundreds of people who listened to that interview, which aired on the 30th anniversary of the Challenger explosion in January, disagreed. They included Allan McDonald, Ebeling¡¦s boss and Thiokol¡¦s representative at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida on the day of the launch.
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¡§I called [Ebeling] up and told him, ¡¥You know, to me, my definition of a loser is somebody that really doesn¡¦t do anything, but worse yet, they don¡¦t care,'¡¨ McDonald told NPR a month later. ¡§I said, ¡¥You did something, and you really cared. That¡¦s the definition of a winner.'¡¨
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Ebeling died Monday in Brigham City, Utah, at age 89, his family said. But, thanks in part to the assurances from McDonald and untold others, he goes to God less burdened by the question that has haunted him for the past thirty years.
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¡§It was as if he got permission from the world,¡¨ his daughter Leslie Ebeling Serna told NPR. ¡§He was able to let that part of his life go.¡¨
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