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§Ú±q¤p´N¤@ª½»{¬° ¤õ¨®¯¸ ªº­^¤å¬O Fire station

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¤õ¨®¯¸ ªº­^¤å¥¿½Tªº»¡ªk¬O Fire car station

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­ì¤å¥Ñ kuenjchen ©ó 2016-08-11 07:43 µoªí
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said,
"Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!"
Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

3328¤u§L©x ½Ð°Ý±z¥´¹q¸Ü¹L¥h µ²ªG¦p¦ó
¾Ç¥Í¥´¤u®É¡A¥Õ¤k¤HÁÜ°¸¥h¦o®a¬ù·|¡A¤£´±¥h¡A©Èºj¡I

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¡G¡uGo a head!¡v

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¤u§L©x¡G¡§You have what thing¡H¡¨¡]§A¦³¤°»ò¨Æ¡H¡^

¸g²z©x¡G¡§Can you speak English¡H¡¨¡]§A·|»¡­^»y¶Ü¡H¡^

¤u§L©x¡G¡§If I not speak English, I am speaking what¡H¡¨
¡]¦pªG§Ú¤£ ·| »¡ ­^»y¡A§Ú¦b»¡¤°»ò©O¡H¡^

¸g²z©x¡G¡§Can anybody else speak English¡H¡¨
¡]¦³¨ä¥L¤H·|»¡­^»y¶Ü¡H¡^

¤u§L©x¡G¡§You yourself look. No man  here
you can wait, you wait, you not wait, you go¡I¡¨
¡]§A¦Û¤v¬Ý¬Ý¡A ¨S¨ä¥L¤H¡A¯àµ¥§A´Nµ¥¡F¤£µ¥§A´N¨«¡I¡^

¸g²z©x¡G¡§Good heavens. Anybody here can speak English¡H¡¨
¡]¤Ñ°Ú¡I³oùØ ¦³ ¤H ·|»¡­^»y¶Ü¡H¡^

¤u§L©x¡G¡§Shout what shout, quiet a little, you on earth have
what thing¡H¡¨
¡]³Û¤°»ò³Û¡H¦wÀR¤@·|¨à¡A§A¨ì©³¦³¤°»ò¨Æ¡H )

¸g²z©x¡G¡§I want to speak to your head.¡¨
¡]§Ú·Q©M§AªºÀY¨à»¡¸Ü¡^

¤u§L©x¡G¡§Head not zai. You tomorrow come¡I¡¨
¡]ÀY¤£¦b¡A§A©ú¤Ñ¨Ó§a ¡I¡^

Ps : ½Ð¤£­n¾Ç¤u§L©xªº­^¤å ¦p¦³¤p®t¿ù ®¤¤£­t³d

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¥H§KÅ¥¨ì³o¨Ç ¡§¯º¸Ü¡¨

Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

¡@¡@ÁÙ¬O¯dµÛ¦n, ¸Ñ­åªº®É­Ô·|¥Î¨ì¡C

Bo! Bo! Come back with that. Bad dog!

¡@¡@³Þ³Þ! ¨ºª±·N¨à¤£¯à«r¨«¡C§A³o°¦½âª¯!¡C

Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

¡@¡@µ¥¤@¤U, ¦pªG³o¬OµÊŦ, ¨º­Ó¬O¤°»ò?¡C

Oh no! Where's my Rolex.

¡@¡@³á¤£! §Úªº³Ò¤O¤h¿ö©O?

"Ya know, there's big money in kidneys? and this guy's got two of 'em."

¡@¡@§Aª¾¹DµÇŦ¥i¥H½æ«Ü¦h¿ú¶Ü? ³o³Ã¥ë­è¦n¦³¨â­Ó¡C

Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

¡@¡@¤j®aÅý¶}! §ÚÁô§Î²´Ãè±¼¤F!

Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing off my concentration.

¡@¡@¯à¤£¯àÅý¨ºª±·N¨à§O¦A¸õ¤F? §Ú³£¤£¯à±M¤ß¡C

What's this doing here?

¡@¡@³oª±·N¨à¦b³o¨à·F¹À?

Sterile schmerile. The floor's clean, right?

¡@¡@®ø¬r®ø¬r¡C¦aªO«Ü°®²b¹ï§a?

This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?

¡@¡@¯f¤H¤w¸g¦³¤p«Ä¤F¹ï¶Ü?

Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

¡@¡@§O¾á¤ß, §Ú·QÀ³¸Ó°÷§Qªº

OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.

¡@¡@¦n, ±q³o­Ó¨¤«×¦A·Ó¤@±i¡CÁÙ¯u¨S¨£¹L³o»ò¸Þ²§ªºª±·N¨à¡C

Oh no! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

¡@¡@³á, ¤£! ¤â¥U²Ä 47 ­¶¤£¨£¤F!

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Monday morning....need double Espresso, and a joke to start with...
¶g¤@¦­¤W....¥¿¦b¨RªwµÛ¿@­§ªº©@°Ø¡A¤@­Ó¦³½ìªº¹ï¸Üµo¥Í¤F...

"Daddy? How did I come into this world?"
¡u¯R¦a¡A§Ú¬O«ç»ò¨Ó¨ì³o¥@¬Éªº¡H¡v

"Well, my child, someday I'll have to tell you anyway."
¡u®@¡A¨à¤l°Ú¡AÁ`¦³¤@¤Ñ§Ú·|Åý§Aª¾¹Dªº¡C¡v

"So why not today? Please!"
¡u«ô°U¡I¬°¤°»ò¤µ¤Ñ¤£¦æ¡H¡v

"OK, but listen carefully."
¡u¦n§a¡A§A¥J²ÓÅ¥µÛ¡I¡v

"Mom and Dad met each other in a cyber cafe.
¡u§A¶ý©M§Ú¦bºô©@¬Û¹J¦Ó»{ÃÑ¡A

In the restrooms of that cyber cafe, dad connected to mom.
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Mom at that time made some downloads from dad's memory stick.
¨º®É§A¶ý±q§ÚªºÀH¨­´¡µwºÐ¤U¸ü¤@¨Ç¸ê®Æ¡A

When dad finished uploading we discovered we used no firewall.
·í§Ú§¹¦¨¤W¶Ç®É¡A§Ú­Ìµo²{§Ú­Ì¨S¦³¨Ï¥Î¨¾¤õÀð¡A

Since it was too late to cancel or delete,
¦]¦¹¡A·Q­n¨ú®ø©Î§R°£³£¤w¬°®É¤Ó±ß¡A

Nine months later we ended up with a virus."
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Senior moment

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